Understanding pleasure with this concept

I have three questions for you.  I really invite you to take time to answer before you head on to the next question. One. ‘When you orgasm, how does it feel like?’ Ready for the next? Two ‘How do you know if you had an orgasm?’ Now three, my last one ‘Do you know how to increase/infulence your pleasure? I guess answering those questions wasn’t very easy, was it? To be honest, it was kind of hard for me to answer these questions too during a workshop I did. In this blog I’ll share what Susanne Rousgaard (my super duper favorite teacher) thaught us about the elements infulencing pleasure. I call it the “Pleasure Triangle” and am happy to share this with you since it helps to get a better understanding.
Elements influencing your pleasure

The pleasure triangle shows us three elements influencing pleasure. This basic concept helps you to get a better understanding of your own pleasure and gives you ideas on how to work with/improve your pleasure potential. Here we go:
? Context/Meaning.
? Sensations
? Attention

Context and meaning is something our brain provides. Let me give you an example. When you see a remote control, you immediately know what it’s used for. Duh… you use it to turn on your TV or switch channels.  This limits the use of the remote control. But what happens if you open up and try to think of other ways to use it? For exapmle I I could use it to scratch, to slap, use it as a pointer, drumstick, a spaceship, a music instrument and so on. When we extend the context, we extend the use. What has that got to do with pleasure? Well the same logic applies here.  The context we (unconsciously) create, influences our pleasure potential. If you have a preconceived idea about how pleasure should look, feel or sound like you’ll only able to experience pleasure via the filters you created.


We all have preconceived ideas on pleasure, sex, orgasm and so on. We get these imprints from our parents, porn, friends, the internet etc. But the thing is reality (your bodily experience) and the image you have in your brain (context) are two different stories.  Your preconceived ideas block you from experiencing pleasure.
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How much can you feel when your nerves are stimmulated by you or somebody else? That’s what thise elment is about. How much pleasure you can take in, depends on how much your nerves are activated when you are touched.  Some woman don’t experience pleasure when the vagina is touched. Changes are the nerves aren’t so much activated jet. There’s good news! You can train how much sensations you can take in. The more you touch yourself the more your nerves get activated, the more you can take in.
How to train this? The simplest way to start is to choose a random object, set a timer for five minutes and start touching your arm with that object. It can be anything:  remote control, spoon, rock or something soft. While you touch yourself you focus on the sensations you get from it like warmth, structure and what feelings get activated in your body. This might seem silly, but every time you do this, you rewire your body into feeling more and more!

There’s much more to share about this subject. Matthias  Schwenteck created a brilliant YouTube video to explain the direct route of pleasure.  It’s definitely worth watching. 


Where do we put our awareness when we’re pleasured? Let’s say we touch our vagina for some juicy self pleasure. Is our awareness on our finger touching the vagina, or is our awareness in the vagina itself? When we do self pleasure, we are both the do-er and the receiver. But to feel, we need need shift our awareness to receiving! There’s more to this element of pleasure. Our awareness needs to be in the here and now. When we think about how we look, are focused on reaching a goal, feel stupid, focused on feeling something specific we’re actually in our head. There’s no awareness in the present moment. What helps is to use our breath, it’s always connected with the present moment. When we breathe with an open mouth deep in and out of the belly we get into our bodies again.

Care to share your thoughts in the comments below?
  Mirjam     11-01-2019 13:32     Reacties ( 0 )
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