Self Pleasure Yourself For Real

When I see all those red hearts, flowers and Valentine stuff in stores I’m wondering, is there a  deeper, stronger, greater and more magical form of love then self love? No, there is not if you ask me! It doesn't matter if you’re with someone or single. Self love comes in many forms, but the ultimate form of self love is self pleasure! Isn’t it? To give yourself those high vibrations of love, pleasure, joy who doesn’t want that?! I know I do! In this blog I’ll share some of my findings on self pleasure and hope to inspire you to deepen your self pleasure skills for the sake of self love!


“Sexuality, just like eating, is the foundation of our pyramid's need for life and thus forms an important part of our quality of life. Self Pleasure is just like preparing a healthy meal for yourself or getting a good night's sleep.”
Rieky Dikmans Medical Sexologist at Red Verve

Every now and then I talk to women about self pleasure and they all say the same when about it. “I rub my clit and focus on reaching an orgasm. It takes about 5 minutes”. And yes, I plead guilty too! And there’s no shame in that, we all do it! But that’s one thing on the menu. I wish for all men and women to expand into something more loving, more joyful, more pleasurable! Whatever it looks like. So my question for you: how does your self pleasure look like?


I had lots of false beliefs around self pleasure. Which is such a pity because it kind of stopped me from doing it giving myself and my body love... I'd like to share these with you, because you might relate.
  • I can’t do self pleasure when my partner is in the same building
  • I have a partner so I don’t need it
  • Self pleasure isn’t ‘the real deal’
  • It's an easy way to blow of some steam
  • I have to be in the mood to start self pleasure
  • I have to do this naked
  • There’s one goal; orgasm
  • Self pleasure and masturbation are the same
  • It has to look a certain way
  • Self pleasure just happens
During a workshop I became aware of some of my false beliefs. It was after I witnessed a self pleasure ritual last, which changed me for good! I think it was ‘Female Sexual De-armouring’ with Susan Rousgaard. I know it might sound a bit extreme to witness this, but actually it wasn’t! And I’m pretty sure I wasn’t the only one. It was mind blowing AND gave me an instant NEW IMPRINT on what self pleasure could look like for me.

Soft, gentle, slow, sensual NOT goal oriented at all, wild and super loving, joyful and not a five minute quick fix but extend non linear self pleasure.

I was inspired and felt super grateful those amazing women were brave enough to share their intimate self pleasure ritual in front of the group. It affected the whole group and our beliefs around self pleasure. After witnessing this act of self pleasure. And I hope by sharing this experience and blog this might inspire you too.

Since a few weeks I’m dedicating myself, or at least I try, to my self pleasure ritual. This really helps me to feel good. Every monday at 9.00 I start and at 10.00 I stop. That hour I spend loving time with myself and I try to listen to what my body wants to feel and do. Guess what? It doesn’t always have to do with masturbation or rubbing my clit.
  • Dancing
  • Shaking
  • Conscious breathing
  • 22 minutes of bliss (a beautiful complete exercise from Ronja Sebastian)
  • Holding myself like I'm hugging me!
  • Stroking my neck
  • Rubbing my head against my bed, my hair is so sensual!
  • Massaging my scalp with my fingers
  • Touching my heart and breathing into my heartspace
  • Consciously taking in the heat of the shower
  • Self De-armouring (I created a Yoni Healing guide if you want to get yourself started )
When or how this Ends? I don't know! Maybe with men/women from all over the world joining me on monday morning from their own places. For now  I’m curious where this practice takes me, what it teaches me. And honestly, it’s not always fun. Sometimes it’s a bit boring and I look at my timer and think is it time? But when I drop into the empty space, into the silence something new unfolded. A new movement, a new idea on what to do. 

I hope you’re already a master in self pleasure if not that would be great, if you are that person please give me and the rest of the world your best practices. If you're not that and like to upgrade your selfpleasure skills, check out this super short and powerful exercise. You’re going to invite the vibration of deep and ecstatic self pleasure into your body with the power of your imagination.
STEP 1: listen to this short audio
STEP 2. Anser the following questions.
How does my epic self pleasure ritual look like? - time of the day, location - what do you wear, what do you do - how do you smell.
How does it feel like when I'm actually doing what I described in the question above. The last one is the crucial one in manifestion. When you allow the feelings to come in, you're actually creating a bridge between the 'now you' and the 'other version of you'.

I wish you good luck!

And If you're reading this on valentines day, I'm happy to offer you a 10% discount on all my products in my shop. Use the code "selfpleasure" to active your 10% discount.

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    13-02-2019 20:16     Reacties ( 0 )
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