Negative Sexual Beliefs

“Sex is a highway to God”, is a quote I read or heard somewhere years ago. Although I don’t belief in ‘God’ I believe there’s an Energetic Field which responds to my intention. So that’s why I replaced ‘God’ for ‘cosmos’ and felt this quote fits my like a glove, because growth makes me feel great. It doesn’t matter in which area of life. My intention for this blog is to share with you how you can use your negative sexual beliefs in order for you to grow and expand into more YOU! I’d love for you to connect more and deeper with you body, emotions, sexuality and spirit.

MY PATH ISN'T YOURS
Although my search for this highway to ‘God’ let me to de-armouring and the Healing Tantric path, this doesn’t mean you have to do the same. For me those paths helped me to release stuck emotions and beliefs and therefor allowed me to feel/sense more and allow my essence to shine through. But you don’t have to do ‘those’ things in order to learn and grow. Even if you ‘only’ dip your toe into the sexual domain, you could greatly benefit from doing this.

SEXUAL DOMAIN
This sexual domain, let’s call it sexuality, is not only charged with low vibrational emotions like fear, anger, grief, sadness and shame but also with a bunch of negative or false beliefs. Those low vibrational emotions and negative beliefs stops or stagnates our sexual energy. I’d like you to know those emotions and false beliefs are not a ‘bad’ thing.

THINGS YOU DO & DON'T WANT
Your negative emotions and false beliefs are just pointers and telling you what you DON’T want. They are clues and tell you to shift your awareness to the things you DO want. I hope this is making sense! If not, don’t hesitate to send me a message.

A PERSONAL EXAMPLE
Let me give you a personal example of how my focus determined what I invited into my reality. Recently I found out that I blocked my partner to give me oral sex. I wasn’t aware of this until this weekend. I told him about a song somebody send me, which was called ‘Hou je bek en bef me’, which means something like ‘shut up and eat my cunt’. He said ‘but you don’t want that anymore’. I was kind of surprised because I do like it. But knew he was right. I did push him away and preferred penetration over this.

MY NEGATIVE/FALSE BELIEFS
I analysed this ‘thing’ for a minute or two and found out some false beliefs.
* I don’t want to feel uncomfortable when I receive oral pleasure
* He’s only doing it for me, not because it’s something he likes doing
* If he gives me oral pleasure, I have to really, really like it and show him I do. Otherwise I’m failing.

NOW I NOW WHAT I DO WANT
This situating was confusing to me, because I actually like to receive oral sex! I’ve enjoyed it before, but something somehow shifted without realising this. What happened here? Negative and false beliefs I somehow adopted influenced my behaviour. I focused on the negative aspects and what I didn’t want. I didn’t want to fail, feel uncomfortable or make him do something he doesn’t want. Deep down it triggered the feeling of not being worthy to receive without giving, having to work hard first. That’s what I’m learning in other aspects of life too. In that moment I made the conscious decisions. I don’t want to feel that uncomfortable and unworthy. I want to be able to fully receive, lay back, receive pleasure of any kind including this! :-) So this wasn’t only about sex, but also about feeling worthy of receiving unconditionally.

YOUR TURN TO 
Now it’s your turn to have a look at your negative and false beliefs and use this as your fuel for growth.

STEP 1: Become aware of your negative beliefs
Feeling uncomfortable during (solo)lovemaking or within another aspect of the sexual domain is a good indicator there might be something there.  To give you some ideas I wrote some down.
* I’m not sexual or sexy
* I’m not worthy to receive
* I have to please first
* I have to do something in return
* My boobs are too small, my butt is too fat, I’m ugly etc.
* My face looks ugly when I orgasm
* I have to enjoy sex fully
* There a specific way sex should look, feel or sound like

STEP 2: Be a loving judge
Beliefs which are in alignment with your higerself feel good, beliefs which are out of alignment don’t feel good. This idea might help you to be a loving judge for yourself. So let’s take ‘I’m not sexual or sexy’ (This example is mine too from a few years ago. I didn’t feel sexy at all! The idea of putting on sexy lingerie made me feel like a clown.) If you say it out loud and it feels good and makes you happy, you can keep it and don’t have to do anything. And if the belief doesn’t feel good this means you’re not in alignment and have the opportunity to change, to grow!


STEP 3: Refocus your belief on the positive
In this step you refocus the negative belief on something positive. So I’m not sexual or sexy will be “I’m sexual and sexy” or  “I’d like to feel sexual”. Make sure that the belief you’re adopting feels good! It might be the new belief “I’m sexual and sexy” is too much of a stretch but I’d like to feel sexy one day isn’t.

STEP 4: Inject yourself with this new beliefs in a way which suits you
So the old belief might be a bit stubborn and won’t disappear if you think of it once or twice. If you really want this to change and grow into the new you you’ll have to do more. There different ways you can inject your subconscious with this new belief. You can meditate, use visualisation and think of yourself as a sexual and sexy you, use the power of daily affirmations or inject your subconscious via hypnosis. Remember things take time and dedication.

CARE TO SHARE?
I hope you’re inspired, triggered or affected by my blogpost. If you liked it, let me know via email.

ORGASMIC HYPNOSIS
AND something else I’d like to share. Right now I’m developing a Orgasmic Hypnosis with my friend Lodie. She’s a yoga teacher and hypnotherapist and also has a big wish for everybody to vibrate at high frequencies of pleasure and joy. The first ‘Orgasmic Hypnoses’  focuses on receiving pleasure. So if you’re interested, let me know and I’ll keep you posted.

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